I havent been bloggin for so long .. I have nothing fun to share with everyone actually that's why. Everything that I been facing for the past few weeks is indescribable for me to make u guys understand how I feel.

Basically I think that's what the problem is .. I don’t understand why I make such gullible decisions that literally cause my life to be more terrible as it already is. Now what's the point of saying all of this now I guess everything already happens its just the great stupid so call routine of my life which I have to go through and faced that's so called "Fucked up experience" and I only got myself to blame and learn from it and not repeat it again.

The thing I don't quite understand is .. Why helping and caring for people could hurt so much and cause a great damage impact on my own feelings. What im suppose to be selfish and self-centred to survive in this world?

I don't quite get how selfish people even sleep at night when all they care is about their EGO and not other people's feelings. I borrowed u something which u promise to return within days now its weeks. Maybe people make mistakes but ur turning it to a joke and u couldn't care less either of whats goin on. Maybe what I heard was right .. selfish people like you doesn't care cause its not ur personal belonging so what right.. U still got ur stuff at home and its someone else stuff that's not missing from ur own hands. I don't get it now I feel so naive when all of this happen. And I thought u could help with my com .. so I go all the way to ask u to help me .. cause I was desperate .. guess u didn't know how I felt. But ended up u make the matter worst.

Why the hell did all of this happen because of one person. Guess I cant blame the person but how low and selfish can the person get! Arghh .. I don't wanna be mad with the person but I don’t know how im suppose to be feeling when all this crap suddenly happen!

And attachment been really sux. I admit I cant do what I was asked to do. And its hard because I have to try but its like something I never done before or studied in school. And the so call boss (director) is like .. you suppose to be learning something new not doing the things u know if not whats the point of the attachment! But hey.. im alone .. clueless about how to do it and the stress im facing is indescribable la! Dammit I just wish I could see the light again in this darkness that’s crowding my feelings towards life.

I blogged this to let it out .. I don't need anyone to judge me or comment anything … so save it ok…